Asshole of the Year - 2011 | The Jackal

17 Nov 2011

Asshole of the Year - 2011

The Jackal has been running a weekly asshole award with recipients automatically nominated for the coveted Asshole of the Year Award. It's what you've all been waiting for... here are the nominees:

Well this redneck asshole was awarded because of his unfounded hatred towards people camping in a public space in Dunedin.

The redneck went about verbally insulting the peaceful protestors, damaging their private property and then physical assaulting one Occupy Dunedin protestor. I'm not sure what his name is.
Hekia Parata has done a lot to deserve an asshole award. But what clinched it was when she said National had consulted with local East coast Iwi concerning deep-water oil drilling in their ancestral waters when they had not.

Her corrupt governance wastes public money on illegal Police surveillance of environmentalists to benefit her oily masters while brazenly dismissing the fact that deep sea oil drilling is a highly dangerous enterprise.

John Pfahlert won his asshole award for trying to say that oil from a ship isn't the same as oil from an oil rig when it doesn't matter to the environment where that oil has come from, it still needs to be cleaned up.

The fact that an oil spill further out to sea makes any cleanup process even more difficult seems to have been completely lost on Pfahlert, and many other pro drilling advocates and MP's for that matter.

Keith Abbott won his asshole award for being put back on the beat with another gun after killing Steven Wallace, a young Waitara man shot dead back in 2000.

In fact the actions of the entire justice system during this case shows a complete lack of respect for the family of Steven Wallace and the public's perception of the police. What were they thinking?

Murray McCully was awarded a prestigious asshole award after failing to ensure Aucklands infrastructure could cope with a huge influx of people, McCully then declared himself emperor of the waterfront, in some sort of delusional Machiavellian take over bid.

The Natz hate that 
Len Brown beat old John Banks in the super-city mayoral race, because they want Auckland to be a dictatorship entirely run from Wellington.

Another winner of the asshole award was David May who is the CEO of the Superannuation Fund Authority, which recently breached the Nuclear Free Zone, Disarmament, and Arms Control Act 1987 by investing over $2 million into nuclear weapons development companies and munitions companies.

Approximately 2000 civilians are killed each year from detonating unexploded cluster bombs, that's what they invested our money into.

Gordon Brown won his asshole award because he believes there isn't any real poverty issue in New Zealand. He also believes that the children who need breakfast provided at schools all have parents who waste their money.

He's rubbished a report (PDF) prepared by Infometrics Ltd for Every Child Counts, a coalition of organisations led by Barnardos, Plunket, Unicef, Save the Children and Te Kahui Mana Ririki.

The abuse of workers at sea has become prevalent and unchecked under a National led government. After many delays, public and political pressure finally made National launch a Ministerial Inquiry into the alleged abuse.

Associate Immigration Minister Kate Wilkinson won her asshole award because she tried to deport the crew of the Oyang 75, who were witnesses to the alleged abuse and required for a proper inquiry process.

Minister for Social Development, Employment and Youth Affairs, Paula Bennett was most deserving of her asshole award for trying to justify cutting the very benefit that allowed her to get her qualification.

Bennett went about removing the very advantage that helped her gain qualifications while being a parent. Sole parent beneficiaries can no longer access higher education (level 4 and above).

Waiariki MP Te Ururoa Flavell won his asshole award for suggested that a "very hard stand" should be made on suicide and promoted further stigmatizing families affected by suicide. He thinks that "one is almost wasting time asking why this happens." 

The Maori party are sadly caught up in National's negative politicking that will see them fail to reach the 5% threshold in the general election.

The Pike River Mine inquiry revealed that Peter Whittall did not even attend a test evacuation to see if somebody could escape up the 100 metre-plus vertical ventilation shaft, which is the mines only means of escape other than the main 2.3km tunnel. So he got a much deserved asshole award.

Peter Whittall now faces 12 criminal charges laid by the New Zealand Labour Department, over the 2010 mine explosion that killed 29 miners.

Lockwood Smith won his asshole award because he didn't allow Hone Harawira to swear his oath of allegiance to the crown in Parliament.

Lockwood had no idea if Hone was making the correct allegiance, as he did not employ the use of a translator. Even after Labour's MP Trevor Mallard attempted to get leave for Mr Harawira to return and read the affirmation, other racist National MP's objected.

David Garrett gained an asshole award because he stole the identity of a dead baby to obtain a false passport. He also failed to disclose his prior convictions before becoming an MP.

Police then failed to apply the law properly for what is a clear cut case of perjury. Garrett should be charged with obstruction of justice by violating an order of the court.

ACT on Campus Auckland vice-president Cameron Wayne Browne  won his asshole award for telling a lady he was debating to"go get raped." Rape crime is a huge problem that is not helped by people like Cameron Browne and his cognitive deficiencies.

I would suggest that he receive some counseling and if that doesn't work, let's just deport the asshole to Siberia.

Alasdair Thompson is clearly a fully fledged asshole and deserving of an award. He typifies the chauvinistic male pig, which is unfortunately a prevalent disease in this country. Thompson is the Jackal's runner up asshole of the year.

Thompson didn't intend to resign because of his comments though, arrogant in his sexist old man syndrome. He was subsequently fired for his misogynistic bullshit! Good job.

John Boscawen won an asshole award because he is a goober? Please note in the attached video the gesture towards his crotch when he says the word "fiddles." The frothing Boscawen also said; “Good on Maryan Street for raising the cost of living.” WTF is he on about?

Could somebody please explain to me why a subsidy to plant trees to offset carbon is going to increase our power bills? FFS!

Paul Henry won his asshole award because he's the quintessential rich prick! He offensively displays hoity-toity arrogance which tipyfies everything that is wrong with mainstream media.

The uncouth little man obviously believes his wealth gives him the right to act like a dick! Why on earth should such bigots like Paul Henry are given the ability to openly express their racism is beyond me.

Speaking of racism, the next asshole award recipient takes the cake. Muriel Newman is a sad example of the privileged being completely disassociated from reality. Her divisive preaching attempts to further subjugate the already impoverished. 

There’s nothing so contemptuous as those with wealth arguing that those with nothing should have even less.

Edward S. Lancaster is the head honcho of an Aussie mining exploration company called Grey Wolf Resources NL, which has recently been sniffing around New Zealand.

Lancaster is a complete conman and has a long history of fraudulence and deceit. Lancaster won his asshole award for openly stating that his priority is the all mighty dollar and not the environment.

The Christchurch based group of white supremacists clearly aren’t the brightest bunch of grapes on the vine. The sour grape known as Kyle Chapman being their leader is testament to that. This guy supports the KKK, a group well known to be the original terrorists.

Kyle Chapman won an asshole award for inciting racism, giving white people a bad name and generally being a dick head.

Generally, The Nation program ignores anything to do with what the left actually stands for. The most fervent observer of this is Duncan Garner, who in one particular interview with Phil Goff focused entirely on his political rise to Labour leader, which had little relevance with current issues.

Duncan Garner won his asshole award for a lack of professional integrity, personal vendettas, bias and hypocrisy.

Nick Smith won for his historic negligence and mismanagement of the Cave Creek disaster. Mind you there are a lot of more recent fuck ups by the idiot that would be equally deserving of an asshole award.

The report of the Commission concluded that given the department's state, "a tragedy such as Cave Creek was almost bound to happen".

This award should come as no surprise... Tony Hayward former President and CEO of BP is a complete asshole!

Hayward infuriated people by declining to respond to a congressional committee's findings that BP took shortcuts to save time and money on a well that was behind schedule. He went sailing while the Deepwater Horizon disaster was going on. In 2010, Tony Hayward earned a total of £9.2 million.

John Key won an asshole award for saying: “Any offshore drilling operation there's obviously environmental risks, but New Zealand has proven it can manage those risks.

The Rena disaster proved that we cannot properly manage an oil spill of even small proportions. To get something so fundamentally wrong shows that he is not fit to lead this country. We need to get rid off the smiling assassin before he gets rid of everything we hold dear in this country.

Paul Holmes won an asshole award for his ravenous attack on Phil Goff with continued interruptions and disrespect. Insinuations that the Darren Hughes issue has caused a lack of confidence in Mr Goff as Labour leader have been a complete fabrication by the media and their National party rulers.

It is apparent that Holmes has absolutely no respect for proper debate and would rather arrogantly reside in delusional grand standing.

Once in a while Cameron Slater really outdoes himself. His comments that Arie Smith-Vorkamp should be gut shot was the epitome of nastiness... although his recent comment about old age pensioners is equally disgusting, "I’ve always said that a good hard cold winter and a virulent dose of bird flu would solve the Peters problem."

So for incitement of hate and hypocrisy, Cameron Slater won an asshole award. No surprises there then.

The main reason David Farrar won an asshole award is because he allows a multitude of racist hate speech on Kiwibog. He goes out of his way to write about things that ensures a raft of racist derogatory claptrap in the comments.

I also don't like Farrar much because Kiwibog installs malware on people's computers who visits his site. Not to mention his rather shady history with the Free Speech Coalition.

Cathy Odgers won an asshole award for her continued racist hate speech and disinformation campaign. In March Odgers made the argument that the country had overspent on welfare and so couldn't afford to help those in need after the Christchurch earthquake.

After I gave a rundown of where most of the additional spending had gone, Odgers became increasingly arrogant and deranged, resorting to guttering insults. It was all rather amusing.

Fran O'Sullivan was the first asshole award recipient for making the argument that Auckland is a drain on the countries finances.

Kind of seems a rather small thing in the light of recent events. However when put in context to her continued pro National propaganda, the award is highly appropriate.

Without further adieu, here is this years supreme asshole award winner:

John Keys unrelenting asshole behavior clinched it.

Judges decision is final.