From dictating when school kids can use cellphones or protest against climate inaction to taking control of beneficiaries payments to meddling in farmyard chores to tightening the screws on election booth treats to banning transgender people from using toilets, and now dictating how businesses handle pay-wave surcharges, the coalition of chaos is proving itself the true practitioners of the Nanny Statism they once decried.
On Wednesday, RNZ reported:
Chores young people can do on a farm changing
The agriculture sector will be consulted on proposed changes to risk regulations on what chores young people can safely carry out on the family farm.
Workplace Relations and Safety Minister Brooke van Velden said it will consult on these thresholds, like collecting eggs or feeding small animals, while ensuring safety is not compromised.
Minister van Velden said children will be able to do more complex tasks with supervision and training as they get older - but expects higher-risk activities like being near heavy machinery to remain off-limits.
Labour’s Chris Hipkins rightly criticised the coalition’s bizarre consultation on what chores children can do on family farms, calling it a solution in search of a problem. The National-led government, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that the age-old tradition of kids mucking in on the family farm requires a regulatory overhaul. Apparently, the coalition believes that rural parents need Wellington’s guiding hand to decide whether their teenager can feed the chooks.
This is the same National Party that once lambasted Helen Clark’s government for its "Helengrad" type controlling tendencies, accusing Labour of infantilising New Zealanders with rules like the "anti-smacking law" However here they are, drafting a rulebook for farmyard tasks that’s as patronising as it is pointless. The irony is thicker than a mud patch: National, the party of personal responsibility, now wants to nanny rural families into compliance.
Then there’s the coalition’s obsession with election booth "treating." The Electoral Act 1993 already bans providing free food, drink, or entertainment to sway voters, but apparently that wasn’t nanny state enough for National. They've now doubled down with a new rule slapping a 100-meter buffer zone around polling stations, again outlawing sausage sizzles or lolly scrambles on election day as if a free Raspberry Drop could topple democracy. It’s a petty tweak to an existing law, dressed up as a bold stand against voter bribery, yet it’s exactly the kind of bureaucratic meddling National once sneered at Labour for. One can only imagine the scandal: a hangi or a lolly scramble swaying the vote in a marginal electorate! This is particularly ridiculous when you consider how the coalition of chaos is desperately trying to tilt the next election in their favour by taking away people's right to register to vote on election day, which will disenfranchise hundreds of thousands of New Zealanders from participating in democracy.
This is the same coalition of political parties that once sneered at Labour’s supposed overreach, accusing Clark’s government of stifling free expression and community spirit. The hypocrisy is staggering. National once decried Labour’s "nanny state" for restricting individual freedoms, but apparently, a cuppa or sticker at the polling booth is a threat to democracy itself.
And then there’s the pathetic pay-wave surcharge saga, an exercise in futility dressed up as cost-of-living relief. The National-led government proudly announced a ban on surcharges for contactless payments, trumpeting it as a win for struggling consumers. They claimed it would save Kiwis money at the checkout, painting it as a bold strike against sneaky fees. But in a classic bait-and-switch, the coalition later quietly advised businesses to simply bake these fees into their overall prices. So, instead of reducing costs, the ban just shifts the burden to people who bother to punch in their numbers, potentially increasing prices across the board for everyone, whether they pay by card or cash. This isn’t relief; it’s a sleight of hand. Just like their promises of tax relief, National’s latest “solution” to the cost-of-living crisis looks more like a bureaucratic shuffle, forcing businesses to navigate new pricing rules while consumers foot the bill.
Retailers & hospitality have said they will add the surcharge to the price of the goods & services. Without capping what the credit card companies (banks) can charge the business, Luxon's claims are duplicitous. All people will in fact pay more, not just those using a credit card https://t.co/TVXXSNDGW8
— Maxine Gay (@GayMaxine) July 29, 2025
However, their micromanaging isn't always trivial. They’ve also axed Labour’s world-leading smokefree legislation, a policy designed to shield future generations from tobacco’s deadly grip, all while claiming it’s about slashing red tape. This reckless repeal, scrapping measures like denicotinisation and limits on cigarette sales, hands Big Tobacco hundreds of millions in taxpayer-funded profits, betraying Kiwis’ health for corporate gain. National’s pious rants against Labour’s “nanny state” ring hollow when they’re selling out young people's future to the tobacco giants, one puff at a time.
On Wednesday, the NZ Herald reported:
Verrall said the onus should be on Philip Morris to prove its product was safe.
“There is no reason why the government should be running a study for Philip Morris to help get its products used,” she said. “This product is not a health product. It is a harmful product.”
Verrall said the latest update from the Treasury showed the HTP tax cut was forecast to cost up to $293m if continued until 2029.
“It’s deeply worrying when our health system is underfunded that the Government is giving away $300m to the benefit of a single company with links to one of the coalition partners,” Verrall said.
The previous Labour government's, for all their flaws, sought to balance social progress with pragmatic governance, introducing measures like KiwiSaver and Working for Families to empower New Zealanders. National’s relentless criticism of the Clark and Ardern administrations as overbearing now looks like complete and utter projection. Luxon's coalition of chaos is by far the worst micromanagers New Zealand has ever seen.
This coalition, with its scattergun approach to policy and penchant for meddling in the minutiae of daily life, has taken the nanny state baton and run with it, straight into the farmyard, the polling booth, and the checkout counter. If this is National’s vision of "getting New Zealand back on track," then New Zealanders might wonder if the track leads to a bureaucracy more stifling than anything Helengrad could ever dream of.
