Low Key... yeah right! | The Jackal

5 Jun 2012

Low Key... yeah right!

Last week, the Telegraph reported:

Ah, you might say, that’s because Kiwis have got away from the inherited inequalities and class hang-ups of the old country. Perhaps. Then again, their prime minister, John Key, had a hugely successful career as head of foreign exchange at Merrill Lynch. Leftie crowds occasionally gather at his house and chant ‘You don’t care, you’re a millionaire!’ (logic plainly not being their strong point).


His countrymen admire his modesty, affectionately calling him ‘Low Key’. You can see their point. He slipped discreetly onto my flight from Auckland to Wellington without anyone noticing. Kiwis like that sort of thing.

Low Key? The writer Daniel Hannan is obviously off the planet. ShonKey the honKey donKey perhaps, but nobody in New Zealand has called the Prime Minister "Low Key" before. This is a purely fictitious article.

Making shit up to promote brand Key, because there really isn't anything in the real world that's good about him.