Thicker than batshit | The Jackal

5 Nov 2012

Thicker than batshit

Today, Fairfax reported:

Prime Minister John Key was lying uncharacteristically low over the weekend after making himself public enemy No 1 in Britain for comments labelling British footballer David Beckham "thick as bat shit".

The comments have sparked a media frenzy in the British tabloids and Beckham's agent has labelled the insult "pathetic".

Mr Key's office yesterday deflected questions for most of the day. But Mr Key has not denied making the comment.

Well actually Key has tried in a roundabout way to deny what he said about David Beckham. When questioned by Marcus Lush on RadioLive today, the Prime Minister repeated his lame excuse:

That's that person's characterisation of what they think they overheard me saying.

John Key is clearly implying that the insult was misreported. If that was case, and even if what he said is slightly different to what was reported, Key has a case against numerous media outlets because the reporting would be inaccurate.

It isn't of course, and John Key did in fact tell a group of school children in Dunedin that one of the worlds biggest sports superstars is, and I quote; "thick as batshit". Amusingly Key has in fact defamed himself by insulting David Beckham, and that's not even the correct saying, with 'thick as pigshit' or 'batshit crazy' being proper slang. Besides, batshit is apparently not that thick in consistency, so it's a fail all round.

Key weaseling around the issue of his undiplomatic slur is in my opinion further insult to injury. Why doesn't he just admit the gaffe, apologize to the thousands of people he's offended and move on? That's what anybody else with an iota of credibility would do. The story would soon die in a ditch, and Key could focus on what a government is meant to be doing.

Instead we have a PM that's clearly unhinged and making all New Zealanders suffer because of his stupidity. The backlash resulting from such unbecoming insults isn't just directed at the politician who makes them, and all New Zealanders, especially those living abroad will feel the heat.

Some commentators have claimed there will be no political implications... However I'm not so sure. The sheer scope of coverage the 'thick as batshit' story has recieved won't have been ignored by politicians in other countries. There's also a common theme here, with National MPs making various insults in an attempt to deflect criticism for their own failings.

By way of example; there's been gratuitous insults directed at the people of Christchurch by Gerry Brownlee, who also managed to undermine New Zealands security council bid by badly insulting Finland. Here's the video:

But even more astounding, after the deaths of NZ soldiers in Afghanistan, John Key tried to pin responsibility on coalition forces from Hungary. His despicable claims were soon proven entirely false and described by the Hungarian ambassador as "ill-advised, ill-informed and malicious". And these are just a few of Nationals recent international fuck ups. What a bunch of clowns.

What this means is that foreigners will view New Zealand as some sort of backwards country where people of low intelligence and a lack of morals can rule with impunity. The damage to our international standing will be reflected in reduced tourism, trade and influence. Therefore the cost of Key's latest insult, which he seems unable to admit let alone apologize for, will have cost us dearly.

So who exactly is the thicko? Because in comparison to John Key's idiocy, David Beckham is looking decidedly smart. In other words, Key is thicker than batshit, and definitely not Prime Minister material.