Key should lose popularity contest | The Jackal

6 Mar 2013

Key should lose popularity contest

There's this conundrum that's been bugging me for a while now, John Keys popularity. It often seems as though I'm the only one who can see that the Prime Minister isn't wearing any clothes, and despite the disturbing spectacle, sometimes nobody else is saying anything at all about the horrid visage of a naked Teflon John.

"John's got no clothes on" I often declare, hoping against all hope that the public will at least notice the problem of his naked ambition... But alas, sometimes my fellow left wing bloggers are the only ones to see through the nature of Keys false persona, with the mainstream media invariably ignoring some glaringly obvious inadequacies in favour of promoting Keys right wing spin.

Last Friday, the One News Culmar Brunton Poll reported that John Keys' popularity as preferred Prime Minister increased 5 points to 44 per cent... Making me scratch my head in bewilderment and wonder how on earth such a cretin could get so much support. Surely 44 per cent of those who responded to the polling question couldn't possibly believe that John Key is doing a good job of running the country?

There are so many examples where this is clearly not the case that I would need to write a book to be able to reference them all... But in the mean time, here are a few examples of why 44 per cent of the public shouldn't prefer the smiling assassin as Prime Minister of New Zealand...

A huge increase in unemployment, more Kiwis immigrating out of New Zealand than ever before, more than a three fold increase in prices compared to incomes since 2008, credit rating downgrades, an increasing wage gap with Australia, 0.1% annual economic growth, the fastest increase in inequality in any developed country, more children living in poverty, the biggest leaks of private information by any government departments ever seen, the mismanagement of the now worthless Solid Energy, privately owned companies purchasing changes to government legislation, insulting sports superstars, lying about his investments, misleading the house of representatives on numerous occasions, Novopay, GCSB breaking the law and spying on New Zealand citizens under Keys watch, a 200% increase in government debt since 2008, 17,000 manufacturing jobs lost during 2012, Hekia Parata, lying about the Hobbit union boycott, undermining our 100% Pure branding, failing to rebuilding Christchurch plus a plethora of other brain farts that clearly show the current Prime Minister is at best incompetent.

So with all that and much much more, why is Teflon John still so popular?

There appears to be a few potential answers to that question: Firstly, that there are a high percentage of morons in New Zealand that will simply support the incumbent leader no matter what he or she does... They might even be sadists who enjoy being lied to and a good round of beneficiary bashing once in a while? Secondly, that the polling is entirely biased in favour of the right wing and doesn't properly reflect the publics opinion. Thirdly that the opposition is not offering up a potential leader in the form of David Shearer and lastly that Key is popular because the sun is shinning.

Being that too much sunshine is just as bad as having a biased media skewing polling results, having lots of deluded people thinking Key is the best thing since sliced bread isn't very beneficial for the country when he's obviously mismanaging it so badly. Likewise the fact that more people aren't seeing Shearer as potential Prime Minister material isn't a good thing, and unfortunately none of these reasons for Keys ongoing popularity in the polls fills me with any kind of hope for a brighter future here in New Zealand.

Perhaps I should join the mass exodus to Australia as well? After all, 52,000 Kiwis per year can't be wrong.