Translating Tim Groser | The Jackal

2 Aug 2013

Translating Tim Groser

Yesterday, Tim Groser gave a speech in the House of Representatives. It's hard to understand exactly what the Minister of Trade and Climate Change Issues is on about, so I've used a special feature of Google translate to try and comprehend the incomprehensible. Here are the results:

Hon TIM GROSER: There has got to be some slack given to Opposition politics, where things that were done when the party was in Government are airbrushed out of reality—fine—but there are some limits that have to be observed.

Translation: Controlling what information is available to the public, especially anything that paints the government in a bad light, is usually an acceptable practice.

We could debate, probably inconclusively, where they should stop—before you start to undercut the fundamental concept where Government proposes and Opposition opposes—but we cannot debate where it starts. Where it starts is national security.

The government is all about National security.

I am not going to address the Green Party’s issues...

I cannot think of an argument to counter the Greens.

...we expect a higher standard of care from the Labour Party, because it did not, when it was in Government, give us any signal that it thought it was living in political “La-La Land”, where there are only naughty teletubbies who just need better information to make more informed decisions.

The Labour party was meant to take care of naughty teletubbies and didn't let National know they were living in political "La-la land". I forgot to take my medication today.

We are just, as I said, airbrushing out of reality the fundamental problem with the legislation that they introduced in 2003 and to get up and start to make speeches about expansion of spying powers is fundamentally irresponsible.

It's irresponsible to make speeches about the expansion of spying powers. It's OK to change reality if its a problem.

You could drive a civil liberties bus through that section. There were so few protections of a legal and political nature around the original 2003 Labour legislation.

I'm still ignoring the law that says the GCSB cannot spy on New Zealand citizens. I like anecdotes about buses.

We are tidying up through putting in place proper legal and constitutional safeguards that will actually narrow the scope—narrow, not expand the scope—of GCSB.

Warrantless spying by the GCSB on all New Zealand citizens doesn't go far enough. We need more power!

The fact that the Labour Party—I have no confidence whatsoever that if we talk for the next 10 years the Green Party would ever get this point—is stirring up legitimate concerns of New Zealanders in a way that is totally at variance with the fact is simply outrageous.

It's outrageous that the Labour party is stirring up New Zealanders legitimate concerns. The Green party cannot understand what I'm saying.

For more wonderful Tim Groser moments read: National's climate change policy.